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  • Donna J. Essner

Don't Tell Me, Show Me!


Happy Friday!

Friday for me, probably like many, if not all of us, mean relaxation: kicking back to enjoy the coming weekend without worry. Friday, too, enable me to talk about what I love: writing (which still relaxes me, believe it or not), and all that goes along with this journey.

As promised in last week’s post, today I’ll touch on “Show, Don’t Tell” (SDT)—the mantra that has become, like so many others, cliché. But, cliché or not, this particular phrase still screams (yes, screams) true. How many times have we heard editors, other writers, and publishers advise us, “Don’t tell me, show me!”?

Also, because there are so many techniques available to we writers in the SDT realm, I’ve decided to present these techniques in a series of posts to better hammer home what we writers need to always keep in mind when creating characters and stories.

So, I hope you’ll join me each Friday as we discuss each of the Show Don’t Tell techniques that will certainly take your writing from ‘Ho-hum’ to ‘Wow!

Don’t Tell Me, Show Me!

Our readers, like we writers, love not only a good story told, but characters that stay with them long after the final page is turned. Readers tell us—no beg us—“Give me a character I fall in love with. Give me a character I love to hate. But . . . Don’t Tell Me, Show Me!”

So, how do we create a story and characters that readers remember after the storytelling is done? What is at our disposal to hook our readers and keep them reading until that final page is turned? Fortunately, writers are privy to many techniques:

1. Our five senses

2. Verbs

3. Similes and metaphors

4. Dialogue

5. Action (en medias res)

6. Emotion (feelings)

A combination of any of these techniques can take your writing from ho-hum, to “Now, that’s what I’m talking about!”

In this first in a series of “Show Don’t Tell” posts, first we’ll delve into something we all draw on in our everyday lives—our senses: Sight, Smell, Sound, Touch, and Taste. As in cooking, we can consider these basic elements the salt and pepper of writing.

For example, take this simple, straightforward sentence: She’s fat. Like beauty, how one visualizes fat, is also in the eye of the beholder. So, now consider this:

Her naval ring disappeared between the folds of her bare belly. Or this:

“Fat? She can turn sideways and the girl would disappear!”

Each of these examples allows the reader to see exactly what the narrator intends. As you’ll note, I used the word ‘intends’. Yes, a writer, in essence, leads a reader by the nose to experience exactly what they want. I guess you could call writer’s ‘tricksters’, but actually, they are craftsman. And, as with any craft, a writer also uses tools to create a world and characters to hook the reader and keep them immersed until—and long after—that final page is turned.

Here are a few more examples that touch on the other senses of smell, sound, touch, and taste.

Smell: 1.) He smelled bad.

2.) He reeked of the construction site’s outdoor toilet.

Sound 1.) She irritated me.

2.) The tap-tap-tapping of her pencil on my desk ignited my killer instinct.

Touch: 1.) His hand was rough.

2.) Jonathan’s hand grated against my skin like the grains of sand beneath my bikini.

Taste: 1.) His kiss tasted awful.

2.) His tongue, like rancid grease, repelled me.

As you can see in each of the first sentences, there is only telling. In each of the second examples, the reader can see, and feel, and draw upon their own experiences and knowledge. One of these elements that adds more to the reading experience in each of these cases is the all-important Verb—the workhorse of all writing—which I will discuss on the second post in this series.

In the meantime, using the telling sentences above, why not exercise your own writing skills and create some sentences that show your reader exactly what you want them to see, hear, touch, taste, and smell? If you’d like to share them with me, send them to me at donna.essner.editor@gmail.com. And with your permission, I’ll share some of them with our other readers next time around.

Until next time . . . keep writing!

Stay tuned next Friday, September 8, 2017 for Part II in the “Show, Don’t Tell” series. “Verbs: The Workhorse That Yanks the Reader Along.”

Our readers, like we writers, love not only a good story told, but characters that stay with them long after the final page is turned. Readers tell us—no beg us—“Give me a character I fall in love with. Give me a character I love to hate. But . . . Don’t Tell Me, Show Me!”

So, how do we create a story and characters that readers remember after the storytelling is done? What is at our disposal to hook our readers and keep them reading until that final page is turned? Fortunately, writers are privy to many techniques:

1. Our five senses

2. Verbs

3. Similes and metaphors

4. Dialogue

5. Action (en medias res)

6. Emotion (feelings)

A combination of any of these techniques can take your writing from ho-hum, to “Now, that’s what I’m talking about!”

In this first in a series of “Show Don’t Tell” posts, we’ll delve into something we all draw on in our everyday lives—our senses: Sight, Smell, Sound, Touch, and Taste. As in cooking, we can consider these basic elements the salt and pepper of writing.

For example, take this simple, straightforward sentence: She’s fat. Like beauty, how one visualizes fat, is also in the eye of the beholder. So, now consider this:

Her naval ring disappeared between the folds of her bare belly.

Or this:

“Fat? She can turn sideways and the girl would disappear!”

Each of these examples allows the reader to see exactly what the narrator intends. As you’ll note, I used the word ‘intends’. Yes, a writer, in essence, leads a reader by the nose to experience exactly what they want.

I guess you could call writer’s ‘tricksters’, but actually, we are, in fact, craftsman. And, as with any craft, a writer also uses tools to create a world and characters to hook the reader and keep them immersed until—and long after—that final page is turned.

Here are a few more examples that touch on the other senses of smell, sound, touch, and taste.

Smell: 1.) He smelled bad.

2.) He reeked of the construction site’s outdoor toilet.

Sound 1.) She irritated me.

2.) The tap-tap-tapping of her pencil on my desk ignited my killer instinct.

Touch: 1.) His hand was rough.

2.) Jonathan’s hand grated against my skin like the grains of sand beneath my bikini.

Taste: 1.) His kiss tasted awful.

2.) His tongue, like rancid grease, repulsed me.

As you can see in each of the first sentences, there is only telling. In each of the second examples, the reader can see, and feel, and draw upon their own experiences and knowledge, and visualize in their mind's eye what the narrator is trying to get across.

In essence, like adding some extra spice to a dish, sprinkling in just the right amount of sensory details give your characters and story that extra kick. Which, in turn, creates a much more interesting and exciting reading experience.

One of these elements (perhaps, one of the more, if not most important techniques) that adds more to the reading experience in each of these cases, is the all-important Verb—the workhorse of all writing—which will be the topic of discussion in the second post in this series.

In the meantime, referring to the telling sentences above, and using the five senses, why not exercise your own writing skills and create your own 'showing' sentences?

If you’d like to share them with me, email them to me at donna.essner.editor@gmail.com. And with your permission, I’ll share some of them with our other readers next time around.

Until next time . . . keep writing!

Stay tuned next Friday, September 8, 2017 for Part II in the “Show, Don’t Tell” series:

“Verbs: Hitch Up to These Workhorses To Hook Your Reader.”

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